Conflict Resolution 5 Parts

In conflict resolution or group decision making there are 5 core concerns necessary to make the negative emotions neutralize into positive ones.

We cannot always identify the hundreds of different emotions but we can turn these negative feelings into positive ones.

Positive perspective and mindset is key! How do you do it? 5 key parts!

We must deal with these 5 basic human needs in order to create positive emotions.

1. Appreciation

Appreciation has a big impact on emotions. Humans have the need to be heard, valued, understood.

It only takes 1 negative to cause a problem for conflicts but if you have positives with that negative you can overcome the negative.

Ex. Divorced married couples usually have a 1:1 positive to negative relationship while couples who stay together have about 5 positives to 1 negative. The difference isn’t in the negative but how many positives. People need to feel appreciated.

How do you try to make another feel appreciated?

1. Understand their point of view. Listen to them intently and completely. Seek to understand.

2. Find merit in what they think, feel, or do.

3. Communicate your understanding.

Take a break and ask a few questions.

Avoid ‘but’ which is the greatest eraser and use ‘and’ instead.

Remember we don’t want to eliminate emotions which is nearly impossible. Instead we catalyze them from negative into positive. Transform them.

Emotions are good in helping us discover and identify problems. So let’s use them to help us.

2. Autonomy

People don’t like to be told what to do. They want to at least “feel” like they are deciding for themselves.

People want freedom to make decisions without imposition from others.

Use questions instead of directing/telling someone.

Advice: ACBD – Always Consult Before Deciding

3. Affiliation

The emotional connection between you and another. This has a powerful impact on emotions.

It is always about CONNECTION.

All humans need connection. We want to humanize and make things more personal. At end of day we are all focused on same goals. We want to be happy, fulfilled, be the best version of ourselves. We love our family and children. We share these similar feelings regarding human connections.

4. Status

Your standing in relation to another. What is your status among others in this group? This directly affects the resolution.

Try to neutralize the field and make other feel like team members over a hierarchy with subordinates.

5. Role

We tend to play pre-established roles and your strategy is to shape your roles and theirs. Make these roles positive and with a shared common goal. Your roles are both working towards the common goal.

The reason is important and so are those matters beyond reason. These 5 core concerns trigger many emotions so use these core concerns to understand the other person’s emotions and to stimulate helpful emotions.

Happy conflict resolving! 💜