Achieve True Fulfillment & Happiness By Eliminating Problematic Habits & Delaying Gratification
Achieve True Fulfillment and Happiness By Eliminating Problematic Habits and Delaying Gratification…choosing to skip the “immediate” thrills from problematic habits and behaviors to achieve greater glory and self actualization.
But how? It is simple but not easy!
Spending too much time chasing empty pleasures can prevent us from pursuing activities that we may find genuinely rewarding…living a life more fully in alignment and congruent with our core values. That is the goal to achieve fulfillment that leads us to happiness.
Think of a habit. Maybe snacking at night or excessively checking social media. Reflect and ask yourself, “if I skipped these activities, would I wish I had done those?” Very doubtful you wish you had snacked last night or checked your messages first thing this morning. Therefore, these are activities you want to minimize or eliminate. There is caution on spending too much time on them as they can hinder our greater development and self actualization. Time is scarce and the most valuable commodity. Allocate it wisely.
These problematic activities or habits can become forms of distraction or emotional numbing. Ask yourself “why do I take part in this activity?” Is it a habit picked up during a difficult time in your life and now you need to “shed it”? Evaluate your habits and desires in terms of the bigger picture: how much do they contribute to your fulfillment and long term happiness?
Here is a 3 step process to help you!
1. Evaluate the consequences of your immediate desires or habits and if they are in line with your core values and greater long term goals. This will help you select which ones are holding you back and you need to change or eliminate.
Perform a Cost Benefit Analysis of your habits. Establishing the long term pros and cons for each activity will help you identify which need to go. Maybe the act of moderation can help instead of total elimination. Assess it for yourself and modify as you test it using feedback loop.
Focus on introducing more activities that are in line with your core values. That is key! Spend more time working on the qualities you find inherently valuable and fulfilling and less time on the ones that hinder your development but may provide immediate pleasure.
Envision the consequences of an action and determine how it would work out for you over time. What does each action mean for you. Will you regret it in the future? No regrets!
Exercise self-discipline and follow your path to fulfillment. The emotions – fear and anger & can do more harm to us. Therefore be self aware!
Self control and moderation are virtues.
Identify which desires or habits you want to overcome and increase your motivation by seeing the costs and benefits – positive and negative – of avoiding those immediate thrills for long term fulfillment.
2. Target early warning signs or triggers so you can stop these habits before acting on them.
Learn to spot the early warning signs or triggers before you take part in the activity or habit. Study yourself and identify the situations where the problem habits tempt you. What emotion or situation precedes the desire? We want to break that automatic association so learn to catch things at an early stage. Desires pass. They are just emotions that are felt and then pass. Self awareness is key!
3. Learn and practice cognitive distance by delaying gratification and separating your emotions from reacting or responding to them. Reduce impulsiveness. Separate your impressions from external reality.
Cognitive distance separates that current feeling or perspective from the external reality and response. Detach. Understand that these are just thoughts and emotions and we do NOT need to act on them. They have no intrinsic value. We are the ones who choose to assign value to things that look appealing.
Pause and gain cognitive distance. Separate your thoughts from reality. This will weaken that emotion from taking over and affecting your behavior.
Divide and conquer! Break things down into their components and reflect on each part in isolation. Stoicism is centered on all these techniques and Charles Baudouin, psychotherapist, influenced by Stoicism describes it as “depreciation by analysis.” This means breaking any problem down into small checks that seem less emotionally powerful or overwhelming.
Isolate each part of a habit and assess its value.
4. Avoid engaging in the problematic activity or habit by doing something else that is in line with your core values or goals.
How to replace these problematic activities with ones that are in line with your long term goals?
Do something else! Identify the habits and desires you want to overcome, learn how to spot the triggers, gain cognitive distance with them and now decide the best thing to do instead.
Replace your activity with a healthy alternative that is in line with your core values and long term goals for true fulfillment and happiness.
1. Plan new activities that are consistent with your core values.
2. Evaluate and self reflect on qualities you admire in others. Find role models or mentors.
3. Always practice gratitude for what you have. Adopt a grateful mindset.
Elevate your life today!🌷